Deep down, I think I always knew that I would pursue a PhD degree, but until now it has been an abstract concept - some far-away fuzzy outline of an idea that if I squinted my eyes I could just barely make out its shape.
When my sister and I were little (and I mean really little), my dad would sit us down in front of his dry-erase board and practice his lectures on us. I remember him spending an eternity in his office, click-clacking away on his giant typewriter or word processor, crafting his dissertation. I remember the holed edges of the paper that he would tear off and fold accordion-style into acres-long strands. I wonder what he was thinking of when he was folding, folding, folding. Maybe nothing, maybe everything.
I remember he was so incredibly proud of his dissertation when he was done. He knew where it could be found in the library, he showed me a few times. Every time I had a book report due, he would produce his dissertation and point out his use of footnotes. Yup, any time I had any kind of paper to write from elementary school to college, he offered to go get his dissertation. He even chased me around the house with it once... "just look at the footnotes!"
I looked at that thing and saw words I didn't understand swirling around the page - paragraph-long sentences, charts, statistics, and those fling-flanging footnotes! But what I did understand from very early on - consciously or not - was that if I wanted, I could pursue a PhD, too. I didn't need to understand the "evaluation methods for aptitude tests of respiratory therapy students". I needed to understand that I could apply hard work and perseverance towards achieving any goal. He showed me that everyday.
Now, I haven't even started my doctoral program yet (classes start on Monday), so I don't want to get ahead of myself. I have a long, long way to go. But I believe my journey down this road started as soon as my dad started scribbling on that dry-erase board. And that makes it feel much less scary. I can only imagine how much fuzzier the idea would be if my dad hadn't shown me where to look.
Thanks dad.
